Have you ever had an idea breeze into your head, like a puff of cool crisp air on a hot muggy day? Suddenly, your heart is beating faster, your brain synapses firing rapidly. You lose sense of time as this idea scaffolds itself inside you. You think of little else for days. Something whispers through the caverns of your soul, "This. You are meant for THIS."
This happened to me last June. An idea flared up in my heart, my passion ignited. My instinct was to plow straight into it, make it happen. But I hadn't the foggiest clue of how. And the whispers were saying, "Wait. Let this roll around in prayer for a good while."
So I let the idea sit. And as I feared, it did grow a bit stagnant, lost in the whirlwind of three little ones. That was okay, though, because I am meant for THIS too, for them, for my babies, always.
But the dream never flamed out. Flickering in the background, the conviction grew. And when the pastor preached, "What's that one thing? That thing you know God wants you to do?" I didn't have to wonder what my one thing was.
Come December, without known rhyme or reason, my heart announced to itself, like Ricky Ricardo announcing to the world, "Zee time has come!" Proposals were written, emails were sent.
Have you ever sat watching your inbox, click...click...waiting...waiting for your dream to live or die? Hate that.
But then, the responses started coming...
"We were just talking about a need for this."
"The heart and vision are spot on."
"Take the lead!"
And I started hyperventilating in a happy dance.
Then shortly thereafter, all the fears started flooding in, all the "I'm-not-enough-for-this"thoughts. They went something like this, "Uh, I can't even keep my children bathed. Who do I think I am to tackle something like this??"
These thoughts are still coming, daily even. But I am learning to counter them with truth. The truth that this idea didn't come from me, that it's bigger than me, that I'm merely meant to take one obedient, fearless step in front of the other.
So I took another step, having no idea the magnitude of this step. I sent another email to connect with people who I thought could help make this dream happen. I reached high, hoping for the best of the best, but truly expecting... a polite blow-off. Instead I got an immediate response...
"I cannot tell you how moved I am."
"What you are describing is so near to our hearts."
"We absolutely see the deep need for this."
And they shared their story. And my heart burst. They get it. They really, truly get it. They are exactly everything I need. Where I feel deficient and clueless, they are competent and experienced. AND they've already been talking and networking about this very dream, long before it ever blew into my head.
I'd say they are an answer to prayer, but I didn't even pray that big.
Suddenly, this dream seems very real. I feel very much like I'm stepping into ordained waters.
I'm beyond excited for when I can unfurl the dream to you. Until then, could you, would you, pray for this?? So much still to come together, but here's to moving forward...fearless!